HH1 - HH2

Dear Sir/Madam

The mammoth task of computerising all Births, Deaths and Marriages since 1949 has now, finally been completed. This undertaking has involved, numerous computer operators transferring vast amounts of data over a number of years.
Under the circumstances we are sure you will appreciate that an occasional mistake can be made. It is for this reason that we find ourselves writing to you now. We regret to inform you that, when transferring your details to our main frame computer, your date of birth was inadvertently registered for the succeeding year. Thus suggesting, you are one year younger than you actually are.
The mistake was only discovered recently by chance, but because the error was made so many years ago, the false information has already infiltrated every level of every Government department so, it is too late to attempt any amendment

HH02. Oh dear. A false entry into the main frame computer and your age is one year less than it really is. Due to the information having infiltrated every Government department the information cannot be changed. So there will be complications when you reach retirement age, You’ll have to wait an extra year to collect !!!!!!!!

The following is a précis of the Hoax letters at present available. Some will appear similar but although available separately they can also be bought as a package for jokers who don’t want to fool a friend but maybe half the local community. SEE Community Joker
HH01 DOE directive. Dry your faeces and turn it into fertilizer
HH02 Error on Government computer. Has your age wrong !
HH03 A Company wants to buy your car registration number for ‘megabucks’.
HH04 Office of Statistical Research want you to ring them ( you use your number )
HH05 Archeological company want to dig up your garden !
HH06 Dept. Of Education. New fines planned for poor homework !
HH08 Proposed cycle tax.
HH07 Planning application for a noisy dog kennels near you
HH09 Tax proposed by Government to tax horses ridden on the highway.
HH10 Solcs Letter Unknown relative has left you an obscure African kingdom
HH11 Did you know your property is haunted ?
HH12 Letter Central Banking. Hackers have stolen all your money.
HH13 Licenses to be introduced for riding a horse on the public highway.
HH14 Ghost buster wants to record the ‘Ghostly’ vibrations in your bedroom
HH15 Letter from planning office. Your property does not have planning permission
HH16 Letter from ‘Euro Affairs dept. Find attached your new ‘Euro number’
HH17 Road works means you will have no main services for a week
HH18 Your mortgage payments are going up
HH19 Your spare room is wanted to house a family of immigrants
HH20 Invoice from hospital. To new mother. For extras incurred during confinement
HH21 New regs. concernng the insurance of prams due to be implemented

HH22 New, High, mobile phone mast to be erected very near you
HH23 Your electric meter has been going backwards. An interim bill to follow.
HH27 New regulations covering horse racing
HH25 Your e-mails are causing chaos on the internet.
HH26 Members of Gyms and Health clubs must supply a ‘stool’ specimen
HH28 Cover your phone. We are cleaning the optic fibres with a blast of gas
HH29 Parking fine for parking in a designated parking area
HH30 Spoof Planning application to dig up pavements and front gardens
HH31 Council are changing the name of your road to something unpronounceable
HH32 Spoof planning application for noisy dog kennels
HH33 Local Council implemented tax on bicycles
HH34 Local Council implemented road tax on horses
HH35 Extra Council Tax to be paid by all those with a cat or a dog
HH36 Notice of Intent . No main services for a week
HH37 Pram Pushers guide to pushing your pram safely
HH38 Local by-law passed. All prams to be insured.
HH41 M25 Motorway to be’ one way ‘ during new extensive road works
HH42 Invoice from Hospital for extras , during your stay in hospital
HH43 From Inland Revenue. Inform on your friends and we will pay you commission
HH45 Cheap tennis balls from China are exploding when hit
HH46 You must take a French test before buying a property in France.
HH47 Police letter. Has your car been cloned?
HH48. Special offer on new sex line for men 5 minutes FREE!!!!!
CLICK HERE FOR DISCOUNT DETAILS.

Here is a list of Practical jokes that will allow you to ‘wind up’, from just one person, to a whole community. It just depends which ‘Hoax’ you choose.
There follows a ‘taster’ of each ‘hoax’, to give you an idea of what you are buying. However I’m afraid that paragraph spacing, correct letter heading layout and room for names and addresses, where relevant, have had to be ignored in the search for simplicity. But be assured all the letters are properly laid out with room for the recipients name and address where applicable.

Each purchase is sent as a three page e-mail attachment and comes with full reproduction rights. The first page describes the ‘hoax’, how to use it and the typeface used for matching the name and address where applicable. The second page is the actual ‘hoax’,whilst the third page is a logo which you can print on the envelope to make the whole ‘hoax’, more credible

Like all reasonable citizens, you are no doubt worried about pollution of the environment, particularly our rivers, lakes and seas.
You are probably aware that , following pressure from other E.U. member countries, the Government spent billions of pounds attempting to lower the level of pollution in the seas around our coast but to date this seems to have proved to be far from successful.
Now at last it seems that the Government ‘THINK TANK’, led by Sir Montague Prowting - Smythe, have placed in the public domain, an idea which promises to solve most of our sewage pollution problems. The idea is basically very simple and will save the Government, and therefore the tax payer, billions of pounds.
The plan will depend on the co-operation of the householder, so the Department is writing to a cross selection of 10,000 tax payers at random, asking them for their opinion of the plan.

HH01 A NEW GOVERNMENT DISCUSSION PAPER
Here is a great idea from the Government. Dry your own faeces, turn it into fertiliser. The local inspector will buy it for distribution onto the land . The crops will be organic and you will not be polluting the sewers.
I can’t see any good reason why it wouldn’t work !